March 20, 2008: Senator John McCain said if elected
president he would follow Osama bin Laden to the Gates of Hell. Hey, hereís an idea:
why donít you follow him to a place in the real world; like a cave in Pakistan.
Gates of Hell...Well, since weíre dealing with myths and mythical places, if I run for
president I plan to follow the rest of the axis of evil to Narnia.
"Hell". Itís a mythical place with mythical characters created to scare the shit out of
children. Think about it people: the eternal Hell fire? Oil is like a hundred and twelve dollars a barrel.
I think the real question is, if there is a "Hell" whoís paying for the fuel? If you believe
so deeply in Hell answer me this: What do they use to keep those hell fires burning for eternity? Maybe
thatís it. Maybe Hell uses all the hot gas from dead politicians.
Recycling, thatís cool. But if Hell is recycling, shouldnít Hell be in Heaven?
Hell. Who does John McCain think we are, children? Maybe he thinks that will scare us? "Hell
and Damnation". Especially "Damnation". Thatís how they refer to the U.S. when I travel.
It usually goes something like this:
"Where you from, mate?"
"Me? Iím from the United States."
"Oh, that damn nation."